Africa 2012?

Alright. Bear with me. Please read :)

Last year I went to San Luis, Mexico. It was my third time going there.
Somewhere in the week of orphanages, villages, sand, paint, rehabs, spanish, and shut ins that was almost routine (and at the same time not really because how could something so amazing ever become routine), I realized I felt different.

I can't explain it. Not worse, but not better, just... different. Strange. I didn't understand it so I just tried to pretend I felt fine.
But I didn't.

Every night, our team had a meeting. We studied something from the Bible, talked about our day, shared whatever was on our hearts, and prayed together. (Words can't explain how awesome that was and how it held us together as a team.)
One night someone on our team was sharing how he felt... you guessed it... different.
And he said that he realized maybe it was because next year he wouldn't be coming back.
..... oh no.

Everything he said about his situation perfectly described mine. Word for word.
I felt God saying that it was me, too.

Not go back?

Impossible. I couldn't. I had to go back. My whole heart was in that village. I wasn't strong enough. I had to go back. What about Ricardo. What about his family. What about the whole village. I couldn't. I had to. I couldn't.
My heart was so broken. I couldn't bear it. So, I ignored the thought and somehow managed to push it all the way out of my head.

Fast forward a month. August.

I was at incline (my youth group) one night. Pastor Anthony was talking about Speed the Light, which you can read about here if you don't know about it.

**Rewind.** For the past few months, I had been feeling really convicted about giving. I went on stage and told everyone why they should give, I prayed, I gave sacrificially, but still I felt like I needed to do something more. So I'd been praying about what it was exactly that God wanted me to do.

** Okay, back to August.** Pastor Anthony finished talking about STL and was praying over the offering. I was praying too. Then I had a vision. There were all these children standing in front of me from different countries. They were just.. staring at me. As if I was their only hope. There was a little girl in the front that stood out for some reason.
Someone handed me the jar for the offering. The vision stayed.
I had no money. So I passed the jar to the person beside me.

When it left my hand, the little girl started to cry.
And they walked away.

We went to worship and I barely made it to the altar before I fell to my knees and burst into tears.
It pierced my heart. I couldn't get the image out of my head. I let her down.
I asked God, what are You doing?

It was then that He told me what to do.
He asked for all of my babysitting money (aka my sole source of income) for one year.
I said okay God, I'll do that. Anything.

Then it hit me.
I'll have no money.
I can't go to Mexico.
I'm pretty sure I've never cried so hard in my entire life.
To give God Mexico was to give Him the thing that meant the most to me.
The one thing I loved most in this world.
But I said yes.
After all, He's God. He knows best.

It was so hard. Why? I'd always known there would come a summer when I wouldn't go back. Nowhere at all in my mind did I ever think I'd go there every year of my life. And I'd always known it would be hard. But I didn't know I would be so thoroughly broken.
And it wasn't that I was being selfish and upset because I wasn't getting my way. I wanted God's will to be done. 100 percent. It was just that I'd fallen in love. And to think of not going back hurt, a lot.

Worship was wrapped up and everyone was going to their seats, but I couldn't stop crying. Actually bawling was a better word. Why did this hurt so much? I didn't know.
Heather (one of my favorite people on the face of the earth) and I went in the back of the gym and I told her everything that just happened.
I wish I wrote down what she said. But she told me that if this was really what God wanted, He would be faithful.
He would be faithful.
When she said that so much peace came over me. I knew God's plan was better than my own.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9

The next couple days, I was sad. I was broken. But God healed that. He gave me such overwhelming peace. I knew it would all work out.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So fast forward a few more months.

The email that pretty much changed everything.

I'm going to exclude some words as I'm not allowed to say specific countries or names. But here it goes.

"Dear Gianna,

Please be advised that our trip dates for... Africa in [country name] have now set and confirmed with our in country staff, and we are going on May 1-15, 2012. I pray that these dates will be good for... you, and you can now complete your applications and references to join us this trip.

We will be working on the island of [name] and also on the mainland during our stay. A pastor's conference is being planned for us to have access to pastor's from all over the region, and we will also be showing the Jesus Film at both locations.

Remember that the predominant language in that country is [languages]. So brush up on any of those languages, but if English is your only language, there will be much work to do among those that know some English, and they love to be able to practice English with some native English speakers.

We will be sending you a lot more information as we develop throughout then next three or four months. If you have any questions you need answered in the meantime, please feel free to call me any time.

We are looking forward to serving our Lord together with you."

WHAT!?!?!?

Okay, long story short: Praying, fasting, praying, praying.

This email came a few months ago, and I am almost positive I am supposed to go on this trip.

I believe that if this is what God wants, He will be faithful.

The only way this is going to happen is God.

Please join me in prayer about these things:

Money. That's a given. No way to sugar-coat it. It's going to cost a lot of money that I don't have. I'm hoping to get a job next month when I turn 16, which will help, but not be enough. Please pray for me in this area.

Even with this, I still will be giving all of my babysitting money to STL for the year of 2012. If you need any house work done, or if there is anything else I can do for you, let me know :)

Someone to come with me.

Yup, you read that right. Since I'm not 18, I can't go alone.

So the only way I can go is if I have someone 18 or older with me.

I know this is an incredibly crazy thing to ask, but please, please pray about if this is you.

I can get you more specific information than what I am allowed to post online.

If it is God's plan for me to go on this trip, He must have a plan for someone else we just don't know about yet :)

Thank you in advance for the prayers. I love you all and can't wait to see what God does in the next couple months.

PS this is crazy.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we could ever ask or imagine." Ephesians 3:20 NCV

Project 365 - Week 2!

Week Twooo! Loving this project, so much.

Saturday, January 7th, 2012. Day Four.

Shadow. I love this :)

Sunday, January 8th, 2012. Day Five.

I love taking pictures of tree branches. Is that weird? I dunno. I think they're pretty. :) 

Sunday, January 8th, 2012. Day Five.

I know, I already took a picture this day, but after I took this one I couldn't decide which one I liked better. So here's two :)

Monday, January 9th, 2012. Day Six.

The moon. Not my favorite, but I like it.

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012. Day Seven.

Light :) Probably would have looked better if the light was on, but it's currently burned out. But still pretty.

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012. Day Eight.

My ornament from Rylee :) Love it. Love her.

Thursday, January 12th, 2012. Day Nine.

:) 

Friday, January 13th, 2012. Day Ten.

It snowed today :) So pretty. God's an artist.

Children.

Okay I know I already posted today, but God just really put this on my heart so I thought I'd share.

I feel like there is so much pressure on us to "grow up" as fast as we can. For example, when I was 11 I still wanted to play with Barbies, but no one else my age did such things, so I didn't.
There's pressure on moms to have everything together. To have the kids perfectly dressed, all teeth brushed, driven everywhere they need to go.
There's pressure on dads to be pretty much perfect, do everything, lift up the family, lead them AND the mom, fix everything, kill all the bugs, etc.
There's pressure on people in highschool and college to study and do good on tests and get up at 5am every morning and go to school and stay awake all day and then come home and go to work or babysit or get our homework done and go to band or cheerleading or whatever.

And we want it. We want to be grown up. We want to have it all together. We want responsibility.

But still at the same time, don't you sorta secretly just wish you were still a kid?
Don't you wish when you were hungry someone brought you food,
don't you wish when you were having a bad day you could run into someone's arms and cry as long as you want,
don't you wish you could take a nap sometimes,
don't you wish your life wasn't so busy and so planned out and so stressful?

Well, I do!

And here's the great thing about it.

We are children of God.

Not until we turn 18. Forever.

When you're little and you get hurt,
you run to your mom and she picks you up, wipes your tears, and makes it all better.
That's how you learn that she'll be there for you if you get hurt again.

When a baby is hungry, and they cry, and they're fed,
that's how they learn that their cries will be answered.

Well it's exactly the same with God.

When we're empty, we cry to Him, and he fills us.
When we are exhausted and spent and worn out, he gives us rest.
When we're hurt, He heals us.

That's how we know He hears us.
That's how we know He'll answer.

That's how we know He'll be there the next time.


When you're 3 and you skin your knee, it feels like the end of the world,
but you remember how last time your mom made it all better and that's how you know it'll be okay.

When your heart gets shattered into a million pieces, when your world falls apart, when you're not sure how any good can come from it,
you can remember the last time something happened, and how God carried you through it, and know He's there for you and it's going to be okay.

We are children of God.
<3

(Listen to this!)

Project 365

Hi everyone!

My friend and I decided to do something called Project 365. Read about it here.
You can find and follow Abbi's blog here!

Basically, you take a picture every day for 365 days, and blog about it.
It doesn't matter when you start!
But it's a great way to work on your photography skills, blog more, express yourself, get to know your camera, your style, and yourself, and let's face it....... this is so fun!

Feel free to join us!!!

Here are my pictures for this week! I am LOVING IT so far.
I'll try to blog about it every friday so stay tuned :) Ps, there will usually be 7 pictures, but this week there's only three because I started on wednesday!

I hope you enjoy this!

January 4th, 2011. Day One.

Ginger ale. I've been sick for quite a while, and the doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. I've cried many tears over this. But at the same time, I wouldn't trade this pain for anything in the world. Because God has taught me so much through it.

He has taught me to pray in faith. To believe in Him, and to have faith that He is strong enough, big enough, and powerful enough to heal me (and anyone else, for that matter) And I believe that with all my heart. He is God, after all.

January 5th, 2011. Day Two.

I don't really have a reason or explanation for this picture. I was just outside, playing with my camera, and focusing on different things. As soon as I shot this, I was in love. I don't know. Maybe it's the contrast, maybe it's the colors, maybe it's something else. But I love this picture.

January 6th, 2011. Day Three.

Happy birthday Daniela! We've been friends since 6th grade, and today it's her sweet 16! So this cupcake picture is in honor of Danielle Elise Kochka <3 Even though she's fasting dairy today and can't actually eat cupcakes. Love you dear!!

One of "Those People."

Okay, you know those people who you can just TELL are Christians?
I think that is SO wonderful.

Like the cashier who is checking you out and talking to you and there's just something about her and when you say "God bless" before you leave she says "YOU TOO HONEY!!"
And you say, I KNEW she was a Christian.

Or sometimes when you're talking to someone and... once again,
there's just something about them.

I'm not saying every super nice person you ever meet is going to be a Christian.

I'm not saying everyone in your school/work/community who wears a cross around their neck is going to mean it.

It just doesn't work like that and that's not how it is.
But like I said already, there's just something about some people!

That something? It's Jesus Christ.

We can all be like that and that is what I strive for.
The Bible says..

Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.
3 John 1:11

So we are all supposed to imitate Jesus. And there will be "something about us" too.

As you read, there's a second part to that verse.

"do not imitate what is evil..." "Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God".

You know those people who, when you find out they're Christian, you're in shock?
Like they are the last person you would ever think would be a Christian?

That person who is so rude to everyone and always complaining and then they're come to school in a shirt that says "I love my church" or "God is love" or something like that and you're like what... you go to church??

Or "yeah my dad's a pastor I go to church all the time" wait... you believe in God?

Or you see someone at See You at the Pole and yesterday they were making sexual jokes in class and swearing? You're a Christian!?

If you're going to call yourself a Christian, you gotta own it.

I'm not saying be perfect.
Cause, sorry guys, that's impossible.
But we have a God who IS perfect.
Who we are supposed to strive to be like every single day.

You can't be like everyone else.

You can't swear and laugh at your friends' rude jokes and complain about everything every second of your life and never mention the name of Jesus and then call yourself a Christian.

1. You won't reach people that way. You invite someone to church and they hear the gospel and the pastor talks about how you have to repent and stay away from sin and live every day for Jesus... but you don't do that?

2. It's hypocritical. Let's face it. How many times have you heard someone call Christians hypocrites? It gives Christians a bad name. When that girl who is always yelling at everyone and complaining about everyone and swearing like a truck driver tells people she's Christian? Yeah so much for that.

3. You're taking the Lord's name in vain. Calling yourself a Christian is calling yourself a "Christ one" which is taking up your cross and taking the name of Jesus. We can't abuse that. We cant give Jesus a bad name.

So I didn't write this to condemn anybody.
This isn't a "I'm perfect so I can yell at you" post.
Because I'm not (not even close) so I can't!

I just wanted to encourage all of you to strive to be like Jesus every day.
Which is something I am working on too.
We're in this together guys :)

Where Did it Go?

2011 is gone.
What? Didn't it just get here?
Let's reflect, shall we? :)

My resolutions for 2011:

Turn 15. Accomplished.

Fine Arts. Made it to Districts.

Learn Sign Language. Work in progress.
Get my braces off. Just missed it... Jan 19 2012 :)
Find a new hair style. Accomplished. Now working on long hair again.

Learn Spanish. Work in progress still, but I learned a lot!
Go to Africa. Long story. Not yet accomplished, but will be in God's timing!
Lead someone to Christ. Success.
Make a new friend. Accomplished!
VBS. Not accomplished. We were on vacation.
Go to Mexico. Si!

Learn how to make some fancy yummy dessert. Well.... this never happened.
Babysit for at least 2 new families. Accomplished!
Blog more. Welll.... you be the judge :)


Now, for the 2012 resolutions!

1. Get my braces off.
2. Turn 16.
3. Get my permit.
4. Go on a mission trip.
5. Babysit for a new family.
6. Blog more.
7. Fine Arts- Poetry
8. Find a way to use photography for the glory of God.
9. Continue to learn Sign Language and Spanish.
10. Make a new friend.
11. Lead someone to Christ.
12. Read the whole Bible again.
13. Become more grounded in prayer and in the Word. In other words, spend (way) more time with God, daily.
14. Write more.
15. Become a better servant.

I'll let you know how it works out :)
Happy New Year everyone!