2012!

Goodbye 2012! Wow. What a crazy amazing year. So many miracles. So great. God is good.

Here were my resolutions for this year! Let's see how I did ;)

1. Get my braces off. Accomplished!

2. Turn 16 - check!

3. Get my permit. Success!

4. Go on a mission trip - yes!!

5. Babysit for a new family - accomplished.

6. Blog more. Hmmmm. I have no idea! I think so.

7. Fine Arts, Poetry. Check, made it to Nationals. Also made it to Nationals in songwriting :)

8. Find a way to use photography for the glory of God. Hmm. Fine Arts? :)

9. Continue to learn ASL and Spanish - yup! Work in progress :)

10. Make a new friend - yes :)

11. Lead someone to Christ - success!

12. Read the whole Bible - accomplished.

13. Spend more time with God every day. Check.

14. Write more. Yes!

15. Become a better servant. Hmm. I'd say yes, but that's a work in progress too because you can always be better.

Yay! I'd say it's been a very wonderful and successful year :)

2013 resolutions later when I decide what they are!

Happy New Year!!! :)

Haiti Day 5!

Friday, July 27th. Day 5.
Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, etc.
Leave for Orphanage #3, again.

When we got there, I was greeted by dusty little brown hands grabbing mine and yelling "Joana! Joana!"
Love. Them.
We continued our work project (sand, buckets, upstairs, you know).
We finished hauling all the sand that day, which was SUPER exciting.
When we were done we hung out for the kids for a little while, just playing with them and holding them and giving them some toys/clothes/shoes/etc.

After we left Orphanage #3, we went back to the guest house to change and get cleaned up, and then headed back to Orphanage #4.

When we got there.... oh my goodness.
Cutest. Thing. Ever.
We pulled up to the gate in our huge truck and there was a little boy standing inside the gate,
jumping up and down and shouting and clapping and waving to us.
I have basically never seen a kid so excited about anything before in my whole life.
It was so so so so so adorable.
Within seconds all the kids were outside, and we were greeted by the sweetest hugs and smiles.
I went inside where some of the kids were showing us pictures and a map on their wall.
I asked one of the little girls (Esther) if I could take her picture.
(Well, really, all I said was "foto?" because I totally cannot speak Creole!)
She smiled so big and I took her picture, gorgeous girl.
Then I tried my best to ask if she wanted to take a picture with me, and her face lit up and she practically jumped into my arms.
We took a picture and she gave me the biggest hug and was literally attached to my hip almost the whole entire time we were there.
It was super sweet. We were instantly best friends.
I even taught her how to use my camera, and she very gently and carefully put the strap around her neck and held it tightly with her little hands. She was thrilled (and a pretty good photographer:))
After a while it was time for us to go.
If you've been to San Luis, this was kind of like the last night there.
They sang us the sweetest song ever and we all got in a big circle and prayed together.
There were definitely tears, from our team and the kids.
They kept asking if we were coming back, but this was our last time there.
It was so sad. Esther got down and stood and held my hand. She didn't let go even while I was hugging the other kids goodbye.
She stood there silently, holding really tight to my hand.
After a couple minutes, she looked up at me with the most innocent smile and asked in the sweetest voice,
"What is your name?"
I smiled and said "Gianna" and she jumped back into my arms, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said "Joana" and hugged me.
My heart was so happy and so sad and I hugged her and told her I loved her one last time.
Then we left.

After Orphanage #4, we headed to a nearby hospital to pray for people.
A lot of us were really wanting to see God do some crazy miracles, and we were really excited.
However, we had one small problem... they wouldn't let us in.
Well, it's kind of hard to pray for people in a hospital if you aren't allowed in a hospital isn't it.
I think it's safe to say that we were slightly disappointed, but only slightly.
When we were walking back to the tap tap, someone asked if we could just pray for the people outside?
So we all gathered around the flag pole outside the hospital and started to pray.
It was so cool! It was like SYATP in Haiti :)
We prayed for Haiti and the people in that hospital and that God would bring healing to that country. It was a crazy moment.
When we were finished we asked some people outside if we could pray with them. Some people didn't want us too.

Then we saw a woman, her new baby, and two friends come out of the hospital. The two friends were helping her walk, and the baby was so tiny. It was pretty obvious that she had given birth very recently, maybe even that morning or the night before.
We had the honor of praying with her and baby Shakina. She was such a beautiful baby!
After praying with the woman and some others, she asked if we could drive her home. So we loaded her, the baby, her two friends, and all their bags into the tap tap with us and took them to her house.
It wasn't a very far drive, but it would have been a far and possibly dangerous walk with lots of hills and dirt, and where she lived wasn't the friendliest neighborhood. Plus, she could barely walk.
After we dropped her off I was amazed. I can't imagine how she could have possibly gotten home if we weren't there. It still amazes me to think about how perfectly God set up that moment.
We were upset at first that they wouldn't let us in the hospital because we wanted to pray with people and see God do all these crazy miracles.
But honestly, we weren't supposed to be in that hospital. We were supposed to be outside to drive that woman home.
He had heard her silent prayers and saw his daughter in need and came to her rescue.
How incredible and humbling to think that Jesus used US to be his hands and feet for her.
Wow.
God is so great. It's so awesome to think about how his plans are so much better than ours, and that he allows us to be a part of those plans. I love him.

After that, we went back to the guest house.
An incredible day in Haiti.

Thankfulness Day #4.

Thankfulness Day #4. Well, it's Orphan Sunday.
But Merissa was so right; every sunday should be orphan sunday.

I want you to do something for me.
Read this out loud.
I'm sorry if you feel weird doing it, but read this out loud.

I wish I could speak words that would make you feel the weight of 143 million+ orphans in the world that need the love we're supposed to be sharing.
I wish I could explain my frustration towards Christians who do nothing about it.
I wish I could write something in this blog that would make everyone who reads it drop everything and start the adoption process right now, but I can't.

So for today I just want to say that I am thankful for a broken heart.

I have seen orphans crying.
I have seen them alone, naked, sick, and dirty.
I have watched them scream and cry and grab rice off of each other's plates while they were eating.
I have looked into a child's eyes and seen years of anger, hurt, loneliness, starvation, sadness, and sickness take their toll and turn that beautiful smile into a blank stare,
into a limp body that just hangs there when I hold it.
I have held a child who didn't know love; she only knew anger, so as I kissed her cheeks, she hit and pinched mine.

And I'm thankful.
I'm thankful that it crushes me every day.
I'm thankful that I can hardly sleep at night.
I'm thankful that it haunts me.
I'm thankful that I can't get those faces out of my head.
I'm thankful that I can't get dressed or eat a meal or lay in my bed without thinking of those kids.

I'm thankful because my perfect God is going to use this broken heart.

I'm thankful because if I didn't have this pain in me, I probably wouldn't do anything about it.
I'm thankful because I used to just "feel bad". I used to just want to sit back, be comfortable, donate some money and that would be "good enough". I used to think it was terrible, but leave it at that.

But that was before I met them.
Before I fell in love.
That was before I held them in my arms.
Before I gently held those pinching hands and tried to teach them to love again.
Before little fingers tried to rip the earrings out of my ears because they were so desperate for just anything.
Before I found rice hidden in their school desks in case no one ever fed them again.
Before I knew that 26,000 children like them die every. single. day. for reasons that we can do something about.

And now my "feeling bad" is an unquenchable burden and passion to end their suffering and teach them about the Jesus who loves them more than anything.

My prayer today is that you would be broken for those children like He was broken for you.
Because those kids' broken hearts aren't going to be healed unless ours are broken too.
I pray that this wouldn't be just another Orphan Sunday but that this would be THE orphan sunday that we stand up and do something about it.
I pray that these broken hearts would get on planes and would scoop up those kids and love them with everything we have until we carry them all the way to Him.

I'm thankful that my eyes have been opened and that now I can never forget; I can never turn away.

Today, I'm just thankful for a broken heart.

Haiti Day 4!

Wow! It's been a while since I've blogged. I can't believe I'm still talking about Haiti! I have to talk about Cincinnati! And other stuff! Better get caught up.

Soooo Haiti day 4. Thursday!
We woke up and had breakfast which was..... hot dogs and french fries! Hilarious!

Then we got ready and left for Orphanage #3 again.
As soon as we got there some of the little girls ran up and hugged me, shouting "Joana! Joana!" It was so sweet that they remembered my name.
(I've come to the conclusion that that is my foreign name. In Mexico, everyone calls me Yoana. In Haiti, everyone called me Joana. Both are pronounced jo-ah-nah. I love hearing little voices call me that.)

We continued our project of passing buckets of sand through the orphanage to the workers upstairs.
Here's something crazy.
Most of the day while we worked, the kids were in a room with some adults (their teachers I guess?). They were teaching the children to fast and pray. Most of them didn't eat at all that day.
And oh. my. goodness.
You should have heard those kids pray.
They were SHOUTING and singing and praising God and thanking him at the top of their lungs for hours.
It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen,
and the most humbling.
These kids barely even have clothes or beds or food,
and here they are thanking God and giving Him glory with more passion than I ever had in my whole life.
They kept yelling "MERCI JEZI!" Thank you Jesus.
And I don't know how to spell it, but something that sounded like "aleluya gwa!" Hallelujah glory.
And just... wow.
It really made me re-examine how I worship God. How people in America worship God. How people walk out of a 1 or 2 hour service and that's the end of it.
These kids are shouting, singing, dancing, praying, for hours. These children who have nothing are fasting and thanking Jesus for being their Savior. He's all they need.
I want to pray like those kids.

After we finished working and the kids came out, we got out some pipe cleaners and face paint and played for a while. It was so fun. The kids were so sweet. I was falling in love.

Kids worshiping. It was hard to get a good picture because they were moving so much and I didn't want to use my flash!

How beautiful is this.

Loving kids.

I love Haiti.

Face paint!

My heart is broken. Kids were always crying. You can't be the same person after you see an orphan's tears. You just can't.

My beautiful Rodria ♥

Pipe cleaners!

How sweet are they!?

After Orphanage #3, we went back to the guest house to change, and then we left for Orphanage #4.

Orphanage #4 was the HIV Orphanage. All the kids there were HIV positive. I think the youngest was 5 or 6, and the oldest was around our age.

This orphanage was run by ladies in America, so it was a lot nicer than the first 3. All the kids had clean summer clothes on, and they had beds to sleep in, food, medicine, and I think they even had air conditioning. Even though it was so much nicer than the ones we had been to in the days before, this orphanage broke my heart.

The thing about it that hit me so hard was that, as we were pulling up, Doug told us that we were the first team to ever go there.

No one had ever been there before.

HIV isn't contagious. (Well, it is, but not in any way that you could get it by loving and playing with kids.)

But for some reason, no team had ever gone there before.

When the tap tap pulled up, we all got out and walked in the gates.
Immediately children were shaking our hands and hugging us and saying hi and thanking us for coming.

It was the cutest thing.

We brought stickers, silly bands, tattoos, nail polish, a soccer ball, etc.

They loved it. They loved the attention and love, and they loved us right back.

They just had such an incredible, undeniable joy.

They were the sweetest kids I've ever met.

(and, if you know my previous San Luis stories, there was a little girl there named Ruth!! ♥)

We had the honor of holding those kids and praying over them, and praying with the orphanage staff as well.

It was an incredible time, and we were all in love.

After a while we left and went back to the guest house for the usual dinner/devotions/shower/etc. time.

Another beautiful day in beautiful Haiti.

I don't have pictures from the first time at Orphanage #4, but enjoy this cockroach Natalie and I found on the balcony of the guest house! Also, we saw huge rats, like the size of cats. And lizards. And bats. Scary.