God is Sovereign

adjective

5.

belonging to or characteristic of a sovereign or sovereign authority;royal.

6.

having supreme rank, power, or authority.

7.

supreme; preeminent; indisputable

8.

greatest in degree; utmost or extreme.

9.

being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.

I love that word! Sovereign. I'm sitting here wondering where I'm going to get thousands of dollars; wondering how I, a girly girl from the suburbs who hates bugs and probably wouldn't go camping if you paid me, am going to live in a tent (with my suitcase) (in Africa) (have I mentioned I'm going to South Africa now?)  for three weeks straight.

I'm thinking about all these things that should leave me feeling nervous, anxious, fearful, and uncomfortable, but you know how I feel?

Thrilled. Absolutely thrilled.

I do not have one ounce of fear in me. I'm so excited that I can barely sleep at night (and I still have 39 more nights of sleep to go). I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back to sleep because this real, incredible life that God has blessed me with is so much better than anything I can dream of myself.

And the devil tells me I should be worried. Look at your bank account, there's going to be $9 left in there when you pay your tuition on Monday. You have a three-page-long list of things you need to buy plus $1100 for Madagascar still to pay. You only have 3 more pay checks before you leave and that's not going to help you much. You can't do this.

And you know what I do? Laugh in his face.

Because then I get a text asking me to babysit. And another. And someone at work asks me to take two shifts for them. And again. And someone else tells me to pick anything I need and she will buy it for me. And I just can't stop smiling because I know that His power is made perfect in my weakness.

In my inability, He shows up.

God never asks us to do something and then says "now figure it out yourself." He had it all planned out before you even knew what was going on. In fact, He had it all planned out before you even existed. 

So I just look at these huge mountains before me and I laugh without fear of the future because God is sovereign even when the rest of the world is spinning out of control. 

"Don't tell God how big your mountain is; tell the mountain how big your God is."

I know that I know that I know that my Jesus has never and will never let me down. And I am filled with so much joy knowing that I can choose Him in everything and that I'll never ever have to worry about how things are going to work out because He is so much bigger than me.

So even when it seems impossible, even when you find yourself up against a mountain you can't move, be encouraged that He can. Know that He is sovereign and all you have to do is follow ~ trust in Him and he will make your path straight. Lean on him for all of your strength, trust in Him for all of your needs, know that He will show up and show off exactly when you need him to.

The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

1 Thessalonians 5:24

xoxoxoxo

Gianna

Mozambique & Madagascar

Two M countries in Africa that I knew pretty much nothing about until recently; the countries where I plan to spend October, November, and December :)

I am sooooo excited to announce (on my blog, even though everyone already knows) that I have applied & officially been accepted to Iris Harvest School of Missions in Pemba, Mozambique!

Here is a visual for everyone who will ask me where that is. :)

Since I already blogged about the school here, most of you know all about it. And if you don't, you can read that post and you will be up to date :) I am so honored to have been accepted, and the end of September just can't come fast enough!

This is going to be a crazy experience that will totally rock my world. I can't wait to see what God does in those months. I have already been so blessed by the Harvest School staff & students, and reading through the books we have been assigned to read is making me even more excited to be in Pemba!

(Oh, by the way, here is my application video, in case you didn't see that)

So, the next step after acceptance to the school was to read the student manual and pay the $200 deposit which would officially enroll me in HSM. Check!

The next step was to apply for an extended outreach.
The extended outreach is an additional mission trip following the school in which we will use the training & experience we receive in Pemba. Some of the extended outreaches are to different bush areas of Mozambique, while others are to many other countries and different parts of the world.

In the initial application for Harvest School, I was asked to select a few countries that I might be interested in traveling to after school. I picked some names that sounded familiar, such as Uganda and Cambodia. This didn't guarantee my spot on any extended outreach team, nor did it include descriptions of the trips. I think it was just to get us thinking and praying about the different options.
As I prayed about the countries I selected, the Lord began to reveal to me that none of those countries would be the one I applied for but that He would show me something new I'd never thought about before.

So, about a week later, I received my acceptance letter via email, along with some other emails with more details about Harvest School. One of the emails included the extended outreach summaries.

I carefully read over each one, and although they all sounded awesome, none really grabbed my heart, until I came to the Madagascar trip.
I have only heard of Madagascar from the movie (lol) and because my uncle had traveled there on business. I knew nothing else about the country, which was the main reason I did not initially select it.
However, when I read the description of the trip, I felt the Lord clearly speak to my heart, "That's the one."
Here is the description:

This will be a great opportunity to be part of a new and developing base. Iris Ministries started here in Madagascar in July 2010 and we're currently renting 3 properties for our children's center and looking at land for sale. There are 82 children at present living in our center, but the number of kids increases often!! They range from newborn babies to 19 years old and they love lots of attention and to play!! You will be able to spend some quality time with the kids and just love on them!

We also have some community projects and outreaches:

We have a lunch-time feeding program for around 200 of the poorest children in our neighbourhood who come to eat lunch with us during the week

We have a program called 'Iris Kids in the Community' where we support families with food, medical fees and school fees, to enable them to keep their children at home with them, rather than taking them into our centre.

We have a formula milk program for people who are unable to breast-feed their babies (eg the mother has died and baby lives with grandparents)

We also have a weekly outreach to a nearby rubbish dump where a

community of people all live on the dump, spending their days hunting

for everything they can find from the rubbish to sell. We spend time

playing with the children there, telling some bible stories, praying

with anyone who wants prayer, and taking medical first aid kits with

us as there are often people with injuries there. It's usually really

fun! We want to show the love of God to the poorest of the poor here

in Madagascar.

We also visit the street children who live in the city centre and buy them food. At Christmas we usually have a Christmas party on the streets with them, tell them about Jesus and give our presents.

We want Christmas to be an amazing time for all our kids, and your help is really appreciated in all these projects, helping practically with packing up presents/ giving out food/ preparing stories, drama's and games for the children and also having time to stop and pray for them and to share Jesus with them. We want to show the love of God to the poorest of the poor here at Christmas time!

We would love to have worship and prayer walks around the area and soak the land with the presence of God and build  some amazing spiritual foundations here. It would be great to have prayer soaking, worship and prophetic ministry times for our kids, just soaking them more in the presence of God and ministering to them.

We would also like to include some free time to explore the richness and beauty of the Malagasy culture and would like to take you on a 2 day trip to the rainforest to see the lemurs and other animals that are native only to Madagascar! It was be a shame to come this far and not see some of the incredible natural beauty of Madagascar!

HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!? :)

Since the extended outreaches cost additional money (for the trip itself and airfare), and the school alone would cost a lot, I asked God if I could really go on this other trip that had become all I could think & pray about. I asked Him to please show me that he would make a way financially for me to also go to Madagascar.
The same day that I prayed that prayer, I went to work, and my boss called me into his office and told me that he was giving me a raise. I couldn't believe it!! He had no idea that I had just been praying about finances. I don't think the raise is large enough to cover the whole trip (but every little bit counts!) but it was definitely my sign from God that he has everything worked out.

Shortly after this, I applied for Madagascar. I then proceeded to check my email every 5 minutes for the next 12 days.

On July 2nd, I woke up and saw that someone had posted in our Harvest School 21 Facebook group that she received her outreach confirmation email. I hurried and checked for mine, and sure enough, there was the email I had been praying for for the past (almost) two weeks! Hooray!!! I ran downstairs and told my parents and we all cried, lol.

So, I am officially going to Madagascar from December 6th - 28th, 2014!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

And here it is, and yes, it is part of Africa.

I am so unbelievably excited for this new journey in my life, and I am so humbled and amazed that the Lord would chose to use me in this way.

I am also so grateful for my family and friends who support me and believe in me, and have encouraged me to follow the dream that God has been growing in my heart for all these years.

If you would like to partner with me in this adventure, in prayer, finances, or both, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to email me at gmbellante@gmail.com, Facebook message me, text, call, anything. If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them as best as I can.

I will definitely need to be raising money; I am not completely sure of how much at the moment, but I will have a better idea when I get airfare prices.

If you need a babysitter or any jobs done, let me know! I work a lot so that takes up a lot of my time, but I am happy to do whatever I can, whenever I can. 

I think this is everything I know right now, so you are all officially updated! Thank you all for your prayers and support as I begin this journey. I still can't get over how good God is. Wow.

All my love,

Gianna :)

"I believe the Lord is calling us to a lifestyle of laid-down love that goes well beyond being waist-deep in the river. It is a permanent lifestyle of 'lower still.' It is a call to dive into a love that is limitless, ceaseless, and bottomless - a call to relinquish control." -Heidi Baker

Update :)

I feel like it is probably to update the general public on my life. Well, if anyone wants to know, here it is ;)

Since my last post about not going to college and moving to Africa to work in an orphanage, things have changed a little, or a lot, or not at all. I don't really know :)

Before I left for Liberia, a lovely, awesome woman of God whom I've known all my life and is quite special to me called and told me that the Lord had put it on her heart that I needed to read this book: Love Has a Face, by Michele Perry. So I did. It was a story about a woman, a missionary, in Sudan. I thought it was an awesome story, but wasn't exactly sure why God would want me to read it. I didn't give it much thought after that.

Then I went to Liberia, and it was AWESOME. The one thing that God spoke to me the whole trip was "Yes."
Walking through fields with four orphans holding my hands, "yes."
Sitting on a dusty bench with a child in my arms and a new friend beside me, "yes."
Carrying sleeping babies, playing with beautiful children, "yes."
Preaching in a church the size of my dining room/kitchen, praying for person after person and being prayed for right back, "yes."
Bouncing along on crazy roads, feeling sick and possibly on the verge of death, wondering if I can actually do this, "yes."
Leading people to Christ, seeing whole families drop to their knees, "yes."
Waking up to roosters crowing, falling asleep to pounding rain, "yes."
Every experience, every moment, every feeling, yes.
This is it, you were made for here.

I came home so, so sure that God wants me in Africa.

Sometime later, a number of people in my life began to express uneasiness about my plans to move to Africa with no training, no backing, etc. I was hurt at first because I thought that all of those people had supported me, but I greatly respected their thoughts, and understood that the Lord could possibly be using them to speak to me for a reason.
Partly out of curiosity and partly to please others, I went on Google and searched "missions school in Africa".
The first result was "Harvest School of Missions."
So I clicked on it.

Harvest School of Missions. Pemba, Mozambique. Iris Global. Rolland and Heidi Baker.
Remember that book God wanted me to read?
Well, Michele Perry is a missionary with Iris Global. She learned from Rolland and Heidi Baker. She went to Harvest School of Missions in Mozambique. In the book, she talks about it and what a crazy, unbelievable experience she had there, the incredible things the Holy Spirit did, how it changed her and challenged her, the miracles she saw, the things she learned.
Hmmmm.

I spent forever on that website, reading everything I could find about Harvest School of Missions, and just cried. I didn't know why I was crying, I just felt so excited and amazed and a million thoughts flooded my head all at once. We could be onto something here.

Here is how it is described:

Iris Harvest School of Missions3 Months Training

God is calling His sons and daughters to GO into ALL the earth, that His house may be full! Iris Harvest School of Missions is preparation for harvesting the nations. For this purpose Iris Global offers international, three-month missions training schools based in Pemba on the north coast of Mozambique. We invite you to come and be trained on the field. Live, love and learn from the poor:

• Attend a missionary training school with Mozambican pastors and leaders
• Be trained by Heidi and Rolland Baker and other international ministers and missionaries
• Three months including extended outreaches: The schools dates are usually between 9-10 weeks. We have many international outreaches after the school that last from 2-4 weeks.
• Go on extended evangelistic outreaches in local bush areas
• Live with hundreds of children and experience the Father's heart
• Gain understanding of how to minister cross-culturally
• Get practically equipped for the physical challenges of third-world nations
• Live with a company of abandoned, holy and whole-hearted lovers at the Iris Global Village of Joy in Pemba, Mozambique

You can read all about it here if you want to know more, or ask me. :)
The "About" section is very informative.

So I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and just get so excited every time I think about it.
I very much feel that God is leading me to go there! The school I want to go to would be from October-December 2014. I have no idea what I would do after that, but am perfectly content to trust God one step at a time. Application doesn't open until June 1, so I can't say for sure that I'm going there, but that is where my heart is at this point in time.

So now, you are all caught up. Thank you so much for your continued prayer, support, and love. I'm so blessed to have family and friends who are trusting God with me!

I love love love this quote from the website.

"There is a new breed of missionaries being released across the earth, transparent saints, with oversized hearts, beating in rhythm with the heart of their Bridegroom King Jesus, carrying His glory across the earth. Fearless, laid-down lovers that know a love that has no boundaries, and are ready to run into the darkest places of the earth and bring in the lost, the dying, the poor and the broken. Jesus came with ceaseless love for both the one and the masses. Now we must do the same: stop for the one, but believe for the multitudes."

Love always,
Gianna. :)

Ten Things Parents Should Know When Someone is Babysitting Their Children

I have wanted to blog about this for a long time, but I waited until none of this has happened recently so no family would think I'm writing about them. Hahaha. I am not talking about anyone in specific, and I totally love every family I babysit for! They are awesome!! I just thought this might be helpful for everybody. So, the truth comes out.

1. Please, please tell your babysitter if your child is sick BEFORE they babysit. There is nothing worse than showing up to a babysitting job and being told as you run out the door, "by the way, he hasn't gone to school for the past two days, but he should be fine." Or "she has been coughing a lot and she had strep, but she's on antibiotics so don't worry." Or worse, not being told at all, but finding out by having children cough on you all night. Personally, I don't really mind babysitting sick kids. I can handle runny noses and coughing. Even puke. But it is nice to have a heads up. I will always tell you in advance if I even have a little cold (and any babysitter should), so we really appreciate if you do the same for us. If I know I'm watching two kids with colds, I can take some Vitamin C or something beforehand and it will be fine!

2. "They can stay up until I get home." Classic. This can be fun, sometimes. If your kids are older and you're coming home an hour or two past their bedtime, that's fine and fun for everybody! But if your child is 4, and usually goes to bed at 8:30, and you aren't coming home until 11 or 12, please don't do that to your babysitter or your child. Or yourself. Babysitters don't mind putting your kids to bed. And let's face it, overtired children are not fun. The kid is either miserable or bouncing off the walls, the babysitter is trying to keep them calm and happy, and you have to come home from your fun date night and put them to bed.

3. Tell your babysitter what the kids can and cannot eat. Otherwise they will ask the babysitter for things they're not allowed to have, and she won't know what to do. For example, I don't see anything wrong with having 2 cups of juice, but some families prefer their child to have one glass of juice, then milk or water after that. You are the parent, and I want to follow your rules, so I need to know what they are :)

4. If someone is babysitting for the first time, and you have a dog, TELL THEM. That is all I have to say about that. Lol.

5. Tell your babysitter if your neighbors are nice. Sometimes I am babysitting, and we are playing outside, and a neighbor will come talk to me or the kids. That is pretty weird. I don't know if your neighbors are like family to your kids (like mine are) or if they are creepers. So just let us know.
Also, tell your babysitter if your kids are allowed to play with the neighbors' kids. Sometimes neighbor kids randomly show up because, in regular life when you are home, that's what they do.

6. Text or call me when you're on your way home. It's a little scary if you come home at 10:30 at night and just burst in the door. Or even if you knock. I just like to know you're coming.

7. When someone watches your kids, if it's okay for them to eat your food, tell them. Lol. It's awkward to not know if you're supposed to eat with the kids or not.

8. Tell us what your kids aren't allowed to watch on tv. Every family is different about this. Some people aren't allowed to watch Spongebob (I'm pretty sure I wasn't), and just because a child tells me they are doesn't really mean it's true. Same with a bunch of other shows. Basically, if a kid isn't allowed to do it, they will try it on the babysitter. This is what I have learned. Lol.

9. If your baby is going to freak out when you leave, it's best for you to say goodbye, leave, and not make a huge deal about it. If you do this, it won't take as long for them to stop crying. And if your child cries when you walk out the door, just keep going, don't come back in and try to calm them down. I will do that. They will learn that you always come back and eventually have no problem!

10. I think I covered everything. Basically, make sure your babysitter knows everything they will possibly need to know before they are alone with your kids. And it will be great for everybody!! :)

I hope this was helpful and slightly funny!
:)

Liberia Day One!

Hello! I am trying to blog from Liberia basically so I don't have to when I get back ;)
Today was our first real day in Liberia. I'm in love already. We fell asleep to the rain pouring down and woke up to a rooster crowing and the missionaries we're staying with having a crazy loud and powerful prayer sesh in the next room. I feel like I'm home. One super awesome thing about this trip is that before group devotions at 9 (led by a different one of us each day) we all have to have 30 minutes of "abide time" with God. Pastor Anthony puts on worship music in the living room (which is in the middle of the house) and we all just scatter around with our notebooks, Bibles, and Jesus. It's such a refreshing/filling way to start the day. Then group devotions, family breakfast, some bug spray, and we're off. Today we went to the houses around our guest house and went through the wordless book (basically like those salvation nails with the different colors - they tell the story of the gospel) with anyone who would listen (which was everyone, they are so welcoming here.) It was a super great time! I was able to lead two beautiful ladies to Christ, hang out with a bunch of cool kids, and prophesy over a boy who will some day be an awesome pastor in Liberia. Also, a bug flew into my mouth in the middle of preaching the gospel so I just had to get it out and throw it and keep going. Ha! I also talked to a Muslim man who told me I may not pray for him and I am crazy. But it was a good experience still! After going house to house, we came back to our guest house and had a lunch of protein bars and Pringles. Then, I think I took a nap. The plan was to go to the market, but I think the man who was taking us was fixing the cable so we couldn't go. Hence all the down time. Eventually, some of our group left for the Victory Outreach youth service. The rest of us waited for our ride. We decided to venture out the gate a little because we wanted to explore and we saw some kids. They ran from their yard and waved to us and were yelling. (That's another thing I should tell you - Liberian English is basically nothing like American English. 9 times out of 10 I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, and vice versa. But with a lot of work, paying really close attention, and saying "what?" 4 or 5 times, you can eventually figure out what they are saying.... if you're lucky. But I think, after a while, we might get used to it and get better. But it's really tricky right now.) Anyways, the kids were precious. We attracted a crowd and a full blown soccer... I mean football... game broke out between our little front yard, the huge muddy river that is the road, and the yard across from us. I was of course a bystander of this game, cute as it was. A woman came out of the house across from us carrying a teeny tiny baby girl. She pointed at the baby and pointed at me. I went over and she put her right in my arms. She was the cutest!!! And if you know me, you know I have been dying to hold a baby basically since our plane took off in Pittsburgh ;) It turns out that there are baby twins there, three months old!! A boy named Misha and a girl whose name is something that starts with an R that I can't pronounce spell or say. But she was sooo sweet and it was like a little answer to prayer that reminded me that God knows and cares about the desires of our hearts. It was a special moment :) then our ride got there so we went to church. We were about an hour late but we made it in time to pray with lots of teens and young adults with great purposes in life. Also, I made a new friend named Caroline who is my same age and so sweet. That was really fun. Then, we were supposed to show the Jesus film, but something happened that we won't have the projector until tomorrow, so we went to the market aka grocery store. I got this Liberian pastry thing with apples in it and it was warm and sugary and so great! Then we had a crazy ride back to the guest house because it was so bumpy and so much fun. There was lots of screaming involved which made it even more hilarious. Pastor Sydney told us on the way here from the airport "brace for landing!" which we also think is hilarious so we like to say BRACE FOR LANDING over every bump. So now we are back at the guest house, had dinner and some great prayer time, and now we are winding down. After dinner I got to learn how to make cake African style, stirring butter and sugar in a huge bowl with a glass bottle. It was actually a lot harder than it looks/sounds! Arrow (Pastor Sydney and Musu's son) told me I was bad at it but laughed at me as I struggled. It was quite funny for everyone African who was there and a great experience for me. Eventually they told me to leave, so I guess I was really bad at it. Hahaha. Okay, goodnight! Thanks for the prayers everyone!

The College Question and What I'm Doing for the Rest of my Life.

Actually, I don't know what I'm doing for the rest of my life so this is mostly about the college question.
As of today I'm officially a senior. Which is very weird, and exciting, and weird.
Because of course, after your senior year you go on to be like.. a real person living in the real world. Which is crazy because what even is life without waking up at 5am every day to go to school? Probably awesome. I'm really excited because today I went to graduation which makes me excited for my graduation which is 370 days from now, I think.

So obviously with being a senior comes the question of what are you going to do with the rest of your life.
Which is usually phrased in one of these ways:
"Where are you going to college?" and "What are you going to school for?"
Or something like that, because mostly everyone wants to know about college. But I'm not going to college.

I bet that someone who is reading this just had a little mini heart attack or something.
A lot of people think it's a shame when someone doesn't go to college. I think it's a shame that they think it's a shame. I know why though, and they mean well. When I was little, I thought that people didn't go to college if and only if they failed school and worked at McDonald's for the rest of their lives. (Nothing against working at McDonald's - best smoothies ever). But me, well, I don't know. I have a 4.0 GPA this year. People expect "more" of me, I think.

But here's the thing. I believe in God. I believe in what he says, what he does, and who he is. I believe that Jesus died on the cross two thousand years ago to wipe us clean and pure so we can be with him forever. And I believe that the "forever" doesn't just mean after we die when we go to Heaven, but it means that even now in our lives we can have a relationship with him. A personal, real, deep relationship. I believe that God has a plan for each and every one of our lives, that he is completely involved in it, that he guides our steps and calls us to do things for his glory.
I know that might sound crazy to you, and that's okay because it kind of is crazy, but it's true. And if you don't believe that or understand that, I probably won't make sense to you, and my life probably won't make sense to you. That's okay. I just want everyone to know why.

When I was 13 years old God called me to be a missionary. Now to me, a missionary doesn't necessarily mean that you went to Bible school and are certified by a missions board and stuff like that (although it can be of course), but a missionary is really just someone who loves God so much that it overflows into their love for others, someone who lives to serve God and leads/helps/guides others to do the same. Which is me, and you, and anyone, because we can all be missionaries everywhere we are.
I feel a specific call to care for orphans. Orphans everywhere, but especially orphans in Africa. I have known this in my heart since I was 9 years old.

I love taking care of children. I would babysit every day of my life 24/7 if I could. When I was in 2nd grade I told my class I wanted to be a mom. I also tried to get them all to call me Karen, but that didn't work out too well. Anyways.

It dawned on me one day that a college education may or may not be necessary for what I want to and feel called to do. I told my mom I might not go to college and she freaked out. Understandable, she's a teacher, I'm the first born, I'm smart, I should go to college. Lol. But I really, really prayed about it and I told God I'll do whatever you want me to do, but if your plan for me doesn't include college, I really need you to please give my parents peace about it. I was 13. I left it at that and prayed about it for about three years and he did give both my parents peace about it. That was a huge confirmation for me. But it can't even come close to describing all the ways God has answered my prayers. I am so sure that this is God's will for me.

I'm totally open to going to college. If that was what God wanted me to do, I would go to college. Maybe I will someday, I don't know. But not in 2014. I think college is very good and very important. Most people should go to college. A college degree is very important in today's world and society. I definitely support going to college and would advise everyone to do it unless they were sure God was telling them otherwise.

But the thing about God's plan is that sometimes, or maybe a lot of times, it might not make sense. It might not seem logical, comfortable, or safe. It might be controversial or counter-cultural. It might go against what the world says you need or what the world values. Education is good. Education is extremely, extremely valuable and important. But a college degree does not give value to a person or to their life. The fact that the one and only most high God created you, loves you, gave everything for you, and has a plan for you is why you are valuable. Because He says so.

Some people have told me I'm taking the easy way out. It's not. It is scary, frustrating, and awkward to tell people what I plan to do after high school. Especially people who don't understand me at all. Usually people either tell me I'm so nice or try to talk me out of it, and like I said it's scary, frustrating, and awkward. There are many days when I'm pretty sure no one understands me at all. Yesterday, someone who loves God and I very much respect told me, "I know you have a lot of passion, but there's always summer for that kind of stuff." Another time, again a person who I love and respect and a person who I know serves the Lord, lectured me on how I'm rushing my life and hearing God wrong and He is actually telling me to wait and do this later. But here's the thing - right after that another person came up to me and said to me, "Jesus says, 'You know your calling, and you will do it.'" And she didn't even know what just happened. God always comes through for me. Every time. And I know a lot of people, probably including some of you reading this, want to try to talk me out of moving to Africa when I graduate high school. These people mean well and I love them for wanting the best for me, but don't worry. Jesus is the best for me. He will provide everything I need. He will make sure I have the skills, abilities, resources, characteristics, etc. for what He wants me to do. He's going with me. I'm going with him. He has this all under control, and even though I don't know all the details, he does.

So as of now, the plan is to move to Africa when I graduate high school next year to work in an orphanage, take care of children, love them, teach them about Jesus, and learn everything I can about orphan care. I don't know where God will take me from there. Maybe I'll come back to America and go to school. Maybe not. I don't know, and it doesn't worry me because God's plan for me is already planned. It has been a dream of mine for many years to run my own orphanage sometime down the road. But for now, moving to Africa and working in an orphanage is what I know. I am so excited and so, so sure.

Recently I had some doubt. The devil started to tell me that it was too good to be true. That this was so much my dream, was it getting in the way of God's plan? Was this what I wanted instead of what he wanted? How could God's plan for me possibly be so good? Aren't God's plans usually harder and not what I want? (Ha!) What if I get sick? What if I don't know what to do?

But yesterday, after a slightly discouraging and extremely awkward conversation with a teacher, I went to incline feeling frustrated and confused. And God grabbed onto me, held me, showered me in love, and made me look into his face and listen to what he was telling me. It seems too good to be true because IT'S GOD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. He IS too good to be true, but HE IS TRUE. This plan is so much my dream because HE PUT IT IN MY HEART. He has grown it in me since I was 9 years old! It will be hard, but it will be okay because he has it all figured out already! And it's okay if I get sick, because HE IS THE HEALER. It's okay if I don't know what to do because I don't! He does! This IS his plan for my life, and I let the devil tell me lies but that's all they were. Lies. And God tells me the truth. I believe him. If he says he is going to provide for me, he is. If he says he will heal me, he will. If he says this is what I should do, then this is what I should do. I left that time feeling SO refreshed, so full of joy, and even more sure of this plan than I have ever been before.

I know that to many of you this is just crazy. Yes, following God is an adventure. It is crazy. And I'm so so so so so beyond excited for where it takes me. So, I just wanted to tell you all that God is real and good and I believe in him. I believe him. So this is what I'm doing because he told me to and that's all I need to know.

Thank you Jesus :)


"Give me faith, to trust what you say, that you're good, and your love is great."
"I may be weak, but your spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail, my God you never will."
"Your love heals every disease, your love fulfills my every need, your love is everything to me, your love is everything."
"The mountains shake before you, the demons run and flee at the mention of your name, King of Majesty. There is no power in hell, or any who can stand before the power and the presence of the Great I Am."

"For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 37:4;
'Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.'
I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed his commandments, and was a 'good girl,' He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come true.
Today, this is still one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way.
It is not about God making my dreams come true
but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life."
~Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie

(PS: Exactly one month from now I will be on a plane to Liberia!! Yay!!)

Six Weeks From Now

I'm going to Africa in 44 days. Is that even real?

6 weeks, 2 days.

It's so soon but so far away :)

I wish I blogged more. I'm going to start. Maybe.

Anyways, last night I paid the final balance for my trip to Liberia. I'm trying not to think about that too much because I will cry in Physics class. But seriously, how awesome is God.

I don't even have anything deep or profound to say because I'm just amazed. I'm in awe.

I'm not surprised because I know with all of my heart that the God works miracles. So I'm not surprised, but I'm humbled and amazed. He never fails to amaze me, ever.

This has literally been a miracle.

I'm so convinced that God is God and he is good and he wants me to go on this trip. Because there is no way I could have done this by myself. In fact, I didn't even do it at all. I wish I could step aside and let God type this because that is how much I was not even involved in this fundraising. The money literally came to my door. And most of it was from people I didn't even ask, and in some cases people I don't even know.

God is awesome. So awesome.

Thank you so much to everyone who donated towards my trip. I cannot possibly explain my gratitude enough. There aren't even words. I can't wait to fly to Africa and love and serve, and I couldn't have done this without you and your support.

And thank you to everyone who prayed and everyone who is praying. That means so much. Honestly there is nothing more you can do for someone than pray, to the one who created the universe and Africa and me and you and everything. Please continue to pray in this next month (and a half-ish) leading up to our trip (and during too!) 

I have been praying for this opportunity forever and ever. If you read my blog you know. I'm thankful for every trip to Africa that didn't work out; I learned so much about faith, trust, patience, etc. God is faithful, always faithful. I love this quote from Kisses From Katie (my all time favorite book ever):

"It is not about God making my dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for me life."

I'm so excited to go to Africa because I know it isn't just my dream. I know God has a plan for me there. I know I belong there. I have prayed for so many years, I have seen God work so many little miracles in my life, confirming and answering so many of my prayers. I am so ready and so excited. Just 6 more weeks! Six (hopefully) short weeks!

God is so great, and I can't wait to see what he does in these next weeks and in Liberia.

Thank you so much for your prayers :)